This song hits me to the core. I have been in and out of relationships for the last 14 years of my life. Never giving myself a chance to breath, I ran from one to another. Impulsiveness is not unique for someone with a diagnosis of Bipolar.
Being undiagnosed for so long kept me in absolute cycle of addiction to relationships. The high of the emotions gave me a false sense of safe place. It didn't matter if the emotions were positive or negative. The desire of the high is still something that I struggle with, but I now have a strong support system and medication that helps me cope.
My best friend once told me that I was treating my heart like a piece of paper. Once smooth and flat, with each failed relationship it became crumpled. As I tried desperately to straighten my heart out each time, it never returned to its original state. With each time it was crumpled, it became less useful to me and much more fragile.
When I finally fell in love, my heart could not handle the pressure. All went to hell in a hand-basket before the relationship had a real chance to blossom. Now I am forced to move on begrudgingly. My pain is too much to bear sometimes, but it is the reminder that cutting took place in order to heal, just as a recovery from surgery.
The scars remind me of past mistakes, but the grace of God has helped me to forgive myself.
Being undiagnosed for so long kept me in absolute cycle of addiction to relationships. The high of the emotions gave me a false sense of safe place. It didn't matter if the emotions were positive or negative. The desire of the high is still something that I struggle with, but I now have a strong support system and medication that helps me cope.
My best friend once told me that I was treating my heart like a piece of paper. Once smooth and flat, with each failed relationship it became crumpled. As I tried desperately to straighten my heart out each time, it never returned to its original state. With each time it was crumpled, it became less useful to me and much more fragile.
When I finally fell in love, my heart could not handle the pressure. All went to hell in a hand-basket before the relationship had a real chance to blossom. Now I am forced to move on begrudgingly. My pain is too much to bear sometimes, but it is the reminder that cutting took place in order to heal, just as a recovery from surgery.
The scars remind me of past mistakes, but the grace of God has helped me to forgive myself.
Hope the wound heals but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love
You're at war with love, yeah
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle...
Never let a wound ruin me
But I feel like ruin's wooing me
Arrow holes, they never close from Cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me
But when you're trying to beat the odds up
Been trying to keep your nods up
And you know that you should know
And let her go
But the fear of the unknown
Hold another lover strong
Sends you back into the zone
With no Tom Hanks to bring you home
A lover not a fighter
On the front line with a poem
Trying to write yourself a rifle
Maybe sharpen up a stone
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone
I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much
Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it'll never be over (never be over) until you tell me it's over
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle...
(Then just leave then)
You shouldn't have but you said it
(And I hope you never come back)
It shouldn't have happened but you let it
Now you're down on the ground screaming medic
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses
Shields, body armors and vests don't properly work
That's why you're in a locker full of hurt
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends
The best medicine's to probably just let it win
I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much
And I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle...
Cause you set me on fire
I've never felt so alive, yeah
No, hoping wounds heal, but it never does
That's because you're at war with love
And I'm at the point of breaking
And it's impossible to shake it (yeah)
See, you hoped the wound heals, but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love
Hope it heals, but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love!
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
I ain't ever gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
I ain't never gonna change
These battle...
That's cause you're at war with love
You're at war with love, yeah
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle...
Never let a wound ruin me
But I feel like ruin's wooing me
Arrow holes, they never close from Cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me
But when you're trying to beat the odds up
Been trying to keep your nods up
And you know that you should know
And let her go
But the fear of the unknown
Hold another lover strong
Sends you back into the zone
With no Tom Hanks to bring you home
A lover not a fighter
On the front line with a poem
Trying to write yourself a rifle
Maybe sharpen up a stone
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone
I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much
Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it'll never be over (never be over) until you tell me it's over
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle...
(Then just leave then)
You shouldn't have but you said it
(And I hope you never come back)
It shouldn't have happened but you let it
Now you're down on the ground screaming medic
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses
Shields, body armors and vests don't properly work
That's why you're in a locker full of hurt
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends
The best medicine's to probably just let it win
I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much
And I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle...
Cause you set me on fire
I've never felt so alive, yeah
No, hoping wounds heal, but it never does
That's because you're at war with love
And I'm at the point of breaking
And it's impossible to shake it (yeah)
See, you hoped the wound heals, but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love
Hope it heals, but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love!
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
I ain't ever gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
I ain't never gonna change
These battle...
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