The Best of the Best Mood Stabalizers

Lithium; Benzodiazepines: Alprazolam (Xanax), Diazepam (Valium), Lorazepam (Ativan), and Clonazepam (Klonopin); AntiConvulsants: Valproate (Depakote), Carbamazepine (Tegretol), Lamotrigine (Lamictal), Gabapentin (Neurontin), Topiramate (Topamax); Antipsychotics: Olanzapine (Zyprexa), Risperidone (Risperdal), Clozapine (Clozaril), Quetiapine (Seroquel), Ziprasidone (Geodon)… And that is just for Manic Episodes!

Is your head spinning yet? Yeah, mine too. I take two of those with an antidepressant. Don't get me wrong. I am so grateful for modern science,  but indigestible chemicals are not at the top of my list for the best of the best Mood Stabilizers.

Being diagnosed with a mental illness means having an action plan. I guess like anything else worth working out. 

My Therapy includes  (can't have one and not include others): 

 1. A great doc for monitoring my blood and proper meds, 

 This has been accomplished by trial and error. Every doctor has his/her own strengths. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist. The medications that he prescribed were making things worse, so my general practitioner worked with me to tweak doses and types. When that doctor moved from my area, I was on the hunt again. I am very fortunate to have found a very thorough and compassionate Internist, who was very knowledgeable in thyroid disorders since I also have that. I hate pills and the routine because if I forget them, then I get out of whack.

2. A good Attitude and Communication,  

If my attitude stinks, everything and everyone around me is affected. I used to hide my emotions because I was ashamed. Now, I accept my emotions and let them run their course. Communication to others around me has been key. How I communicate to myself is very important. The song by Eminem and Rhianna "Monsters" plays over and over in my head... "I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed, get along with voices inside of my head"...Yeah, sometimes I have to talk things out loud to reset my own brain much like stemming in an autistic person.  I find that things that made me calm yesterday may not make me calm today, so I have to keep pursuing alternative strategies. This is why my music playlist is so diverse. Music often speaks for and through me. This makes sense because I am a vocalist. Music is usually my safe place. 

3. Positive People, 

This one is a big one for me. I have run in and out of relationships like they were barriers in a paint gun war. However, I was my biggest enemy. How do you run from yourself? You don't. You stand in front of a mirror. For me, people were my mirrors. Instead of projecting the truth, it was more like a series of fun house mirrors that were not so fun. I finally got a glimpse of who I really am. This mirror came into my life as I held everyone at arms length. I refused to be vulnerable to anyone. This special mirror refused to let me continue to self-loath, hide, fear, and reject love. I now see that I am capable of having healthy relationships. Before, I doubted everything that I had become and felt the cracks in my own mirror. 

My kids are the glue to my days. They are the reason that I get up, get dressed, put on makeup, and give me the reason to create a stable environment. My son refuses to let a day go by without making me laugh. I know people in public look at me like I am insane because he can act like a little nutball. My daughter fills the cracks of my broken heart with tenderness and compassion. They have no idea that I need these things when they give them. I don't lean on them. 

These strong people in my life make the cycles of mania and depression manageable. On the days that I want to sleep beyond 12 hours, they make it worth getting up and getting past myself. They help pull me from the chasm in which I daily struggle not to fall into. I go to my adult support system when things feel as if they crumbling around me. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they hold me, sometimes they snap me out of it with reality. The fact that my kids play such a part sometimes may bring harsh criticism from other parents, but I want them to see me struggle and grow through it. I had no idea life would have so much that could overwhelm me as an adult.  I want them to see that no matter what they go through, I will be there as their support system. 

4. Healthy Reactions and Responses,

Often the symptoms of mania or depression swell over me like a tsunami. Euphoria usually leads to high irritation. Fatigue leads into depression. This doesn't come from a specific situation. This just happens, so when I am faced with a tough circumstance in my day to day, I have to be cognizant of my initial reaction. I have to constantly utilize my filter. I have had to grow in understanding that if I am sad, then it is okay to cry. If I am angry and it is justified, then I can say my peace without making a fool of myself with tact. These are techniques that are not innate or natural. A knowledgeable counselor can definitely be worth the price and the time. I only caution you to really listen to your gut. I have had to research and really look hard for someone that shared my values and beliefs.  For the longest time I despised the thought of going to another counselor. Ask around. Research. 

5. Lack of drama, 

All of these are choices. My dad used to tell me that drama and destruction follow me. Talk about a gut shot. I came from a broken home as a child. There was an overflow of verbal abuse. I was a confused and sad child. I lived in constant survival mode.

 I grew to marry men who used words to continue to use my weaknesses as sledge hammers against my spirit. I made choices to get in and out of relationships that broke my self-esteem. I did this because Initially I felt like they could keep me safe. I felt as if I could never stand on my own feet. This was told to me from a young age. 

Words from others shape us, but I completely take responsibility for my actions and live out my consequences. Unfortunately, my kids have been dragged through it all. My priority these days is getting on my feet financially and providing the most drama free zone for my precious kiddos. I don't fight with people. I don't voice my opinion of their fathers. I was a pawn in my parent's games as a child. I do NOT want that for them.

 Drama is a choice. We can't control other people's foolishness, but we can disallow it to be a part of our world. 

6. Consistent Growth through Knowledge,

This MUST be a personal decision and effort. I have had people come and go because the base of their 'love' toward me was based on fixing me. No one wants to be told how broken they are mental illness or not. I once had a packet of 75 pages about my disorder placed strategically for me to find. (I suppose i forgot that i was diagnosed...my bad!) Guess what! That just pissed me off. Shocked? Wouldn't you be? If you suffer from or have been in a relationship with someone a mental illness , you aren't shocked or maybe you have been the initator. 

I have come a long way in my journey. I learned the hard way that we can't change others. I definitely didn't appreciate that this person required that I do what I had to do to be in their life. I don't throw my beliefs or spirituality in people's face. I live my life as Christ commands. I am not perfect. I make mistakes, but I know that actions speak louder than words, so I strive and continue to fight.

With knowledge, I have been able to better identify my symptoms by reading and researching through medical journals and blogs of other sufferers. Bi-polar is a diagnosis. It is NOT who I am. Take this into your own hands. The spiral of chaos that fills my mind does not own me. If you are in a relationship with someone who has a diagnosis of a mental illness, do research for yourself. Stay understanding. Go to therapy for strategies that you can use to manage life with your own personal tornado. Sometimes the storms can be fun. Put on your waders and rain coat. Get into the boat and hold on. Recognize the strengths of this person and focus on those things. 

7. Finally, Know that Normal is Relative

Sane? Insane? Whole? Broken? Running? Walking? It is YOUR journey! It is MY journey! I often tell my close friends that I just want to feel 'Normal'. What i mean is that sometimes, I just want to get off of this freaking roller-coaster. Sometimes it is fun! Sometimes I just wanna jump out. Normal is our own state of mind. If someone refuses to love you where you are, then RUN! If they really love you, they will come back into your life. 

Find your own combination of Therapy. It is so worth it. Believe me when I say that I could go on, but I hope that this has encouraged you. Blessings until the next post. Keep the Conversation going! 

Feel free to email me through my link. 
Helpful Links Below: 

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