Happily Never After

The fact is that I am completely undone about romantic relationships. I have doubted, hated, and destroyed myself with poor choices in this aspect of the last 14 years of my life. Come to think of it I have always looked to others to validate me. Don't get me wrong, I don't need someone verbally smearing me with honey, but I have literally looked for myself in the eyes of another. 

I love to encourage others. I love to put into others' lives. I have just never learned to invest in myself. Over the past two years, I have learned who I am. I have not always acted like the princess that I know I can be or even should be.

Wind out of My Sails

It is in that moment that I am sailing along complete in my faith and knowing that God is healing me from the inside out, in spite of my foolishness, that I get a message from a ghost from my past. Unexpected, long awaited, life-giving words came to my e-mail inbox. I completely lost my breath. The wind was seeking absolution from the pain it caused.

Chasing the Wind

Most days my thoughts are caught by the wind and carried away. Today is one of those 'special' days. I am struggling with my medication lately. I took a trip in February, and have had a hard time getting back on schedule since then. My friend told me that she saw me cycle through mania and depression a few times over the span of that week of our vacation. That is a scary thought, since I promised myself that I would never let myself get there again.