Generalizations are Death to ALL things...

IRONY is my world. I grew up with a grandmother and aunt with the greatest sense of ironic, sarcastic, twisted humor (in my opinion). I laugh at things that to the majority of the population would not necessarily laugh at. My brain works differently than most, so I embrace it. I love seeing plot twists in life. I don't relish or find humor in pain, but I have a deep respect for it. I don't diminish anyone's journey and how they deal with their hurts, but I also don't ever want to walk in someone's shoes. I can still sympathize at the least. I can have compassion or I can take my shoes and walk away. Such is the way of relationships in my life.

Generalizations come in many forms. Skin color, a place a person lives relatively to the  north or south side of town, in an argument, politics, religion, but mostly in IGNORANCE.
Though generalizations may not bring death to ALL things, they do require intense forgiveness. Words to avoid: always, never, every...etc. I think you get the idea.

Generalizations observed in my world: 

1. Marriage and Relationships are always HARD OR NEAR IMPOSSIBLE for those diagnosed with a mental disorder.

 

    "You NEVER take out the trash!";  "You are ALWAYS on Facebook!"; "You NEVER spend time with me!" This may be true, but I laugh to read this as it is written over and over in medical/mental health posts. Relationships are Challenging. Period. In my world, various groups seem to look down upon my multiple divorces. Yeah, that is not easy to admit, but my past impulsiveness had blinded me to red flags (even if they were thrown up in my face over and over). *Again...I have chosen poorly in my past.  Relationships fail when we don't understand one another, forgive each other for offenses, love harder than fighting one another, educate ourselves early on of any mental illness, and Never say 'Give up' or 'Divorce'. You don't fall out of love. You make a choice to leave. I did. I was hurt and fed up. Now I act out of fear. I place high 'walls' around my heart. I am unable to move forward though I am constantly encouraged to. I have even been given the eff-off by the only man who has been able to calm my Mania by looking into my eyes.

2. Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, BUT Words Will NEVER hurt me

This angers me. Verbal abuse is the hardest form of abuse to prove. Even I have to be careful with how I word things when I talk especially coming from that background. Over the years, I have become calloused to certain forms of name calling. At times, in the middle of a fight, I would laugh. I did that a few times, but it only made this exponentially worse. I guess I laughed because it was the same old thing. (told you that I find odd things funny) I kept telling myself that it didn't hurt, but eventually a callous is worn down with sandpaper.

The most recent that irks me is When the words "I don't understand why you do what you do." are spoken, I get a little frustrated. Ummm...I didn't realize that I was accountable to everyone that feels like they need explanation. Oh yea, I am a grown woman. Just saying.
My point: unless you have a deep relationship with a person that is founded on true respect, then tread softly and weigh the

I am NOT delusional, crazy, mad (like the Hatter), stalker, insane, lazy, dysfunctional, incompetent, unintelligent, weird, unable to raise my children, unable to be in a healthy relationship, a freak...get the point? 

In my past, I was like a feather in the wind. I did as my emotions led me to do, and I stood my ground when doing those things. With that said...I have had to live out those consequences. This year has brought me to an amazing amount of clarity and determination to act with PURPOSE. I even have to catch myself when I call myself names (crazy, stupid, etc..)

3. Bi-Polar people are ALL Lazy, Crazy or Insane.

Lazy? Nah...the mind has amazing power over the body and emotions. I often find myself in a daze, and before I know it an hour has flown by. I have laundry, dusting, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, putting everything in it's place, and cleaning the bathrooms. If my house is straight, so is my mind. When I am on a down cycle, my house reflects it. I am not a filthy person by any stretch of the imagination, but sometimes it all overwhelms me. Thank goodness that my kids are of the age to be responsible for certain chores. Getting them to help is a constant struggle, and sometimes I don't have the energy to fight it. The fact is that both mania and depression affect the ability to keep things in order. With a balanced mind, I am on top of most things
  
 Crazy? Recently one of my good friends and I had a conversation about this. He doesn't think that crazy is such a unique thing and each of us have our own level of 'craziness' so to speak. I have struggled with this concept since I was 18. I had a label of depression and was in serious denial. I was finally evaluated and diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder at 31...lots of years of unnecessary struggle.

 In my 2nd marriage, my husband called me crazy during a fight. Years later, he admitted that he only said it once because crazy really came out. I am glad we can laugh about it now. (sort of) Well, number 3 didn't mind using that to cut deeply. I hated it. One day I finally decided if that is how he felt, then I would give him a really good show. I aim to please.

Insane? HAHA! (head back and a big gut laugh) I am PASSIONATE and I NOW know what I want from my life and the people in it. Pursuing something with fervor is how I am going to do things. I will LOVE with all of my heart. I study and investigate what I want and go after it. It is NOT all in my head. Real is what is REAL to me. The heart wants what it wants, so I find different ways to scale a wall. What is insane is believing that I am not worth someone scaling my walls. So, okay, maybe I am a little insane because I tend to forget my worth.



Remember that People don't come with a manual. Having a diagnosis of a mental illness is nothing more than a challenge or obstacle. It is possible to get through. A little research and a lot of communication break barriers in almost all things. Don't label or generalize a person based on a diagnosis. It brings death to relationships. I am finally learning how to have healthy relationships. #Keeptheconversationgoing

#bipolar #thestruggleisreal #relationships

Tell me about the generalizations in your 'world' @ 2BorNot2BMental@gmail.com